“Ever have one of those moments when someone’s words land at the right time?”
Some reminders don’t arrive loudly — they arrive quietly, in the middle of ordinary conversations.
Episode 1 began with one of those moments.
For months, I’ve been learning how to find comfort in discomfort — through grief, through movement, and through the small prompts that help me keep going. And in that journey, Nicole has been one of the people whose words stayed with me when I needed them most.
She reminded me of something simple but difficult to hold onto: that I’ve been showing up — even when it’s hard — and that I deserve grace for that.
When I brushed off my effort as “just what I’m supposed to do,” she mirrored something back to me: that moving through grief and still tending to IMA is not nothing.
It is work. It is love.
And it honours Chula in ways I didn’t always realise.
This conversation began there — with a reminder I had been quietly holding onto.
The Moment That Found Me
I invited Nicole because she has been gently nudging me to see my own movement as healing.
To acknowledge that surviving the loss of Chula while continuing IMA is not just a natural next step — it is something I’ve been doing with intention, consistency, and heart.
“Give yourself grace.”
“Good job, Elissa.”
Those words lingered. And they’re the reason she is the first guest of this series.
Her Story — Perfectionism, Inner Voice & Grace
Nicole began therapy two years ago. Through a childhood trauma assessment, she discovered something that shaped her entire life: She has always been too hard on herself. Growing up, her dad would respond to her happiness by reminding her there was always someone better.
That voice became her inner voice.
She realised how this affected her: perfectionism stopped her from posting work she endlessly re-edited her website she justified not showing up because things weren’t “perfect”. Through therapy — and a new community that reminded her she was loved — she began learning to show herself gentleness.
“Perfectionism isn’t a badge of honour. It became the thing stopping me from showing up.”
“Showing grace to yourself means you’re willing to show up, even when it’s not perfect.”
Saying yes to this conversation was part of that growth.
Boundaries, Values & Knowing Yourself
Later in the conversation, Nicole shared another powerful realisation: The difference between empathy and compassion. Empathy without boundaries can become enabling. Compassion includes truth, clarity, and care.
“Boundaries aren’t about cutting people off — they’re tied to your values.” She spoke about: knowing what you stand for the danger of being “nice” instead of being sincere how setting values creates emotional clarity how knowing yourself gives you courage.
These reminders were grounding and deeply resonant.
Personality, Growth & Becoming Who You Want To Be
Nicole also reframed “personality” in a way that stayed with me.
“Personality is armour shaped in childhood — but we’re allowed to outgrow it.”
She talked about watching her dad grow in ways she never imagined. How he now reflects on his own trauma. How his transformation gave her hope that we can all break out of the mould we were raised in.
“Who do you want to become eventually? That’s a beautiful place to imagine.”
It was a reminder that we are not locked into who we were — we can bloom, unfold, soften, and expand.
If You Needed This Reminder Today…
If you’ve been hard on yourself —
if you’ve been moving through grief, healing, or simply trying again —
here’s what I hope lands gently for you: you’re allowed to show yourself grace you can show up before you feel ready boundaries are not unkind when they are rooted in love perfection is not the price of being worthy you are allowed to grow beyond who you were taught to be.
Closing
This conversation reminded me that the quietest inner voices often hold the loudest pressure — and that we’re allowed to soften them.
I hope Nicole’s words meet you gently, wherever you are in your journey.
Watch Ep 1 on Instagram → Part 1, Part 2, Part3
— Elissa
Intimate Moments Aroma
Calm. Cosy. Connected.